Do You Get What You Need?

Several years ago, I got a photo text from our daughter of a credit card dinner receipt with a hard-to-read signature. Her message read, "Guess who I just served?!"

I texted back, "Whose signature is this?"

She texted back, "Mick Jagger!" 

I immediately texted back, "Did you tell him that you grew up with your father singing 'You can't always get what you want' whenever you or your brother couldn't have the object of your desire?"

 

I saw her today at the reception 
A glass of wine in her hand
I knew she was gonna meet her connection

At her feet was footloose man 

You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes well you might find
You get what you need 

I want that $60,000 fire-breathing, acoustic surround-sound, ego-boosting, testosterone fueled, head-turning all-wheel-drive king-of-the-road painted metallic midnight black that says, "Look at me, NOW!" I'd not only look

good sitting behind the wheel, but it would sound impressive when I tell people what I drive. Black Beauty could tow that weekend condo on wheels with the four HD flat screen TVs to some remote location far from the little people. Never mind the budget-busting price tag, yolo.  

What I need is to live below my means, under budget and not add to my stress. I need to reduce my carbon footprint and contribute to making spaceship earth a better place for tomorrow's child. I need to to clean up and tune up my 40 mpg four cylinder people mover. I need to use mass transit, carpool and connect with others more often. I need to unplug from the screens, get outdoors, hike with family and friends up off the Blue Ridge Parkway.

I went down to the demonstration
To get my fair share of abuse
Singing, "We're gonna vent our frustration
If we don't we're gonna blow a 50-amp fuse"  
  
                                              
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes well you just might find
You get what you need 
 
Many of the conflicts and crisis we are facing in the United States center around a conversation of "what I want" versus "what I need," as well as recognizing "what others need." 

I may want women raping, job-stealing, Satan-worshipping people from backward third-world dust-bowl sand-filled countries to go back to where they come from and stay behind the wall out of sight and out of mind. 

What I need to remember is my great-great grandparents were immigrants who came to this land to escape repression and try to create a better life. I need to seek to understand others who are not like me who want a piece of what I want and are willing to sacrifice to achieve it. I need to understand how we are more alike than different. I need to create and set a bigger table than build a taller wall. I need to walk-the-talk of what I believe as follower of Christ.

Have we lost our ability to care what others need? It's the Golden Rule. It's the second greatest commandment of the Christian faith.

I went down to the Chelsea drugstore
To get your prescription filled
I was standing in line with Mr. Jimmy
And man, did he look pretty ill
We decided that we would have a soda
My favorite flavor, cherry red
I sung my song to Mr. Jimmy
Yeah, and he said one word to me, and that was "dead"
I said to him 

You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes well you just might find
You get what you need 

The way we make decisions for our wants is different from the decisions we make for our needs. Our decision making for our wants can lack logic, common sense, and compassionate thinking. Our wants decision making is usually short term and in the moment. Our wants may be tainted with greed. They can be selfish and inconsiderate of others. Many times our wants ignore or dismiss the self-discipline of delaying gratification, accepting responsibility, accepting truth is reality and creating balance in our lives.

The fact is we live in a consumer-driven, 'imitate this,' 'me first,' 'I want what I want, NOW!,' 'it's all about me!' society,

which fuels our wants. Personally, I know I can get caught up in stuff I want without accounting for so little amount of stuff I need!

What I really I need is more compassion and humility. I need to overcome my implicit bias. I need to ask more than I tell. I need to love more and fear less. Most of all, I need to be more grateful more often for what I'm blessed. To live into these needs is to Carrpe Diem! - seize the day!

Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten nailed it! Did we forget what we learned?

The main lessons we were taught in kindergarten:
- share everything
- play fair 
- don't hit people
- say you're sorry when you hurt somebody
- when you go out into the world ... hold hands ... stick together

You get what you need, yeah, oh baby 

I saw her today at the reception
In her glass was a bleeding man
She was practiced at the art of deception
Well I could tell by her blood-stained hands 

You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes well you just might find
You just might find
You get what you need

How do you feel after you get what you want? How soon do the endorphins wear off after you get what you want? How soon until the next shiny object of desire gets into your sights of want? 

Next time you have an urge for a want, push your pause button and ask what do you need. I want another beer, but I need to drive sober and I need to lose weight. I want that new best selling book. I need to read what is on my desk at home. I need to save money and I need to go the library.

What if we wanted what we needed?

If we are going to get back to what we need rather than what we want, it will require critical thinking, self-discipline, consideration of others and gratitude for what we already have.

You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You just might find
You get what you need
 

Songwriters: Keith Richards / Mick Jagger

You Can't Always Get What You Want lyrics © Abkco Music, Inc