Mother’s Day came upon us recently. Did you remember your mother? How did you remember your mother? Why should you remember your mother?
Perhaps you have bad memories of your mother...being made to eat your broccoli, nagged to hang up your towel after your shower or prevented from doing what your friends were allowed to have or do...no cable television in your bedroom, no staying out past 11 PM on a Friday night or being made to go to church on Sunday mornings instead of sleeping. (I hope there was a father in the house who sided with your mother!)
On the other hand you may have fond memories of your mother. She’s the one who stood up to that strict teacher who gave you a bad grade for turning in your project late. She’s the one who told the referee off after your soccer game for the red card you got. She’s the one who threw a fit at the bookstore when they ran out the latest Harry Potter book at the midnight release party. You only hope she’ll be there when you go for your first job interview. (I hope there was a father in the house who disagreed with your mother on those issues!)
Some think Mother’s Day is just another greedy greeting card, flower shop, restaurant ploy to sell more. No doubt, they benefit from Mother’s Day. If you research Mother’s Day, it goes back to the Greek and Roman civilizations. It has deep roots for every living creature as it is a celebration of being born, being given the gift of life and making a connection to life. It’s worth not only remembering but celebrating. What get’s celebrated, gets repeated!
Dorothy Day, journalist and activist, wrote about the spiritual transformation upon giving birth to her first child. “No human creature could receive or contain so vast a flood of love and joy as I often felt after the birth of my child. With this came the need to worship, to adore.” Blest be the tie that binds!
As a child grows, a mother-child relationship evolves through several roles. First role is nurse. This role is about care and feeding including taken care of the soiled diapers! Queen is the second role (along with a father who is King.) Our home, our rules and you will abide. This role evolves into Coach, standing on the sidelines and offering advice as well as encouragement. The final role is Friend, a confidant who knows your imperfections and loves you just the way you are! All roles are transforming. All roles are founded on unconditional love. Every role validates the relationship and reminds each of the purpose of life, to be of significance.
I believe motherhood is one of those epic events defining required responsibility morphing into desired responsibility for both the mother and for the child. Hopefully from this forge, we learn what it means to be in relationship with others. It nurtures the spiritual wisdom deep within. The lessons of intimate community lead us to greater communities grounded in love. What a gift?!
It’s not too late to remember your mother. And if you still think its a lot of hype, consider the Platinum Rule: Treat others the way they wish to be treated. It’s not too late to celebrate a relationship that launched you into life. A text does not work. An email is one notch above text. A phone call is a start. A written letter, note or card is much better. Face-to-face is best. And don’t just wait for Mother’s Day, find other days to celebrate your primary collaborator in your creation!