The Ten Commandments of Being a Team Member

1. Thou shall be trusted. This means:

• You have integrity. You live with integrity. You promote integrity. 
• You do not make promises you cannot keep. 
• You keep confidences.
• You choose to do the right thing over the easy thing.
• You know what is listed on your resume is the truth and can be verified.

2. Thou shall know thy strengths and lead accordingly. This means:

• You also know your weaknesses and are not afraid to admit them.
• You allow others to lead with their gifts, talents and passions.
• You empower others.
• You walk-your-talk and are a role model.
• You build relationships and network.

3. Thou shall have a personal vision and thou shall support, believe and promote the team’s vision. This means:    

• You examine your life, because the unexamined life is not worth living! 
• You know your core principles. You use your core principles as a foundation to discover your purpose and mission.
• You know the team’s mission and are inspired by the team’s mission because it is in sync with your personal mission. 
• You live your mission and the team’s mission.

4. Thou knows thy customer is actually a guest. This means:

• You know the guest is ANYONE who relies on your work—including team members as well as those seeking your goods and services.
• You treat the guest the way you’d treat your mother!
• You know the way you treat team members has tremendous impact on how you treat others who desire your goods and services.
• You know that the guest desires to have a great experience and you can choose to give them a great experience!
• You know that you must strive to bring your best to the team everyday.

5. Thou shall seek to understand. This means:

• You are curious. You ask questions, especially, “Tell me more!”
• You listen more than you talk.
• You suspend judgment.
• You avoid assumptions.
• You deal with change constructively and effectively. You understand that change is an opportunity rather than a problem.

6. Thou encourages others. This means:

• You get to know others on the team including how they like to receive praise, where they like to receive praise and when they like to receive praise.
• You catch people doing the right things and acknowledge their actions.
• You give away credit.
• You practice compassion continuously, especially with those who have a lower title and less power than you.
• You give people your time including your full, undivided attention and don’t one-up them when they tell their story.
• You are more interested in others than being interesting to others.

7. Thou shall not triangulate. This means:

• You meet face-to-face with the person you have a problem or conflict. You do not use email to deal with emotional issues. You don’t go to another team member and spread your problem.
• You draw upon a neutral third party who can help each side see the other’s point of view.
• You acknowledge the fear creeping into the relationship and work to find common ground to have a conversation and avoid bad behavior.
• You avoid being a victim. You recognize the world is not out to get you! 
• You do not complain or whine especially when things do not go your way. This is wasted energy. You are not an ouch looking for a hurt!

8. Thou shall not become a workaholic. This means:

• You have a life and encourage others to have a life.
• You inspire balance for others.

9. Thou shall not come to work sick. This means:

• You cannot be good for the team unless you are good for yourself.
• You do not spread your illness to others.
• You prevent becoming sick by sharpening your saw daily including eating well, getting exercise and getting enough sleep.

10. Thou shall not take thyself so seriously. This means:

• You do not let shame rule your life. You will make mistakes. It’s a part of being human.
• You learn from mistakes and failures. They are valuable lessons.
• You know not to take things personally. It’s not all about you!
• You learn to laugh at yourself...out loud...loudly...often!

Is This Really a Job Interview?

Are job interviews becoming like reality television? There has been much buzz around “extreme interviews.” Obviously with so many people unemployed and a big selection pool for employers to choose from, companies are using more creative screening process to help in the selection. 

Some are asking strange questions like, “If a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, what kind of bush is it?” or “If you were a dish, in whose cupboard would you like to be? Why?”.

Some ask brainteasers like, “Three well dressed women are huddled together. The one who is crying has never been happier and the other two who are smiling have never been more miserable. What is going on?” or “Before becoming an angel, the woman had found herself diving toward hell in a wet suit. What happened?”

Are they designed to see how quick interviewees are to respond?

Are they designed to show creativity?

Are they designed to show how an applicant might deal with frustration or embarrassment?

Are they designed to see how the applicant deals with pressure?

Are they designed to see if the interviewee fits the culture?

Are they designed to see if a potential candidate is honest or knowledgeable?  (Question. What kind of dinosaur would you be? In my case, I don’t know dinosaurs and would say so.)

If an organization seeks a nurturing culture with solid believable values that are lived out loud, then why not have an experience-based learning initiative for several job applicants as well as couple of current employees. This initiative might reveal more than any interview including leadership, trust, encouragement, communication, respect, collaboration and conflict resolution. 

Thoughts?

Which Way Do Your Employees Park?

A recent IBM study, reports based upon face-to-face meetings with over 1,500 CEOs worldwide, creativity is the most important leadership quality. *

I disagree. If the organization does not have a nurturing culture, creativity is going to have a tough time taking root. People don’t care how creative you are until you create caring relationships!

Some business consultants say that they can get the pulse of an organization’s culture - positive or negative - by the number of Dilbert cartoons posted in people’s work space and the number of employee cars backed into parking spaces for a quick getaway at the end of the work day! 

Culture is made up of core values, beliefs, attitudes, and behavior that create either pleasure  leading to positive flow or misery leading to implosion. Good, believable, clear values and expectations guide an organization’s people in good times as well as bad. Passion permeates everything and everyone leading to greater creativity and innovation, reduced waste, fewer accidents, quick turn-around when failure occurs and a better financial growth. A nurturing culture directly feeds strategy and helps to not only implement strategy but do it more quickly.

Keys to a nurturing culture...

• In the wisdom of author Jim Collins, Good to Great, get the right people on the "bus" sitting in the right seats. Do your homework and find the right people whose values and core beliefs are in sync with the organization. Do not hire warm bodies especially in times of greatest need. Do not allow the wrong people to remain in the wrong seats. Move them to where they need to be or remove them from the “bus.” FYI...executive coaching only works about a third of time.
• Create an environment of questions rather than answers. Suspend judgment and ask for points of view. Don’t assume. Seek to understand. Communicate through as many channels as possible as often as possible. This minimizes the fear factor which is corrosive to a nurturing culture.
• Ask for input from those in the organization on the organization’s vision and strategic plan. This does not mean you will use their ideas, but it does mean you value their perspective. Help people to understand their role in fulfilling the mission and living the vision. This demonstrates compassion, another building block for a nurturing culture.
• Know your people including concerns and stressors. Inspire followers to work in their passion. Live the Golden Rule.
• Leaders meet with their people regularly to discuss performance and create action steps for career development including succession planning. This act instills and fuels hope. Hope is a vital piece creating a nurturing culture. 
• Minimize bureaucracy. Make clear job descriptions with input from those doing the work. Minimize the number of rules and let common sense prevail. Do not hover over them and tell how to do their jobs. Practice empowerment which means trust people to make good decisions.  This becomes a sign of valuing the whole person whose ripple affect models the way to better customer service.
• Acknowledge shame, pain and weakness. When you don’t know something, admit it. Don’t be ashamed, but do your best to find out. Admit when you are wrong. Don’t point fingers. Learn from mistakes. Ask for forgiveness. Be forgiving. This does incredible things for culture.
• Practice consistency which infuses stability. When a person reports to six different people in three years, instability abounds. Commitment and accountability are a two-way street. When times become tough, people will follow the leader through hell and back.
• Encourage in as many ways as possible including failing forward. Remember the proverb, “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care”? It’s true! An encouraging culture creates flow and makes a heavy load easier to bear. 

Which way is your car parked?

*ftp://public.dhe.ibm.com/common/ssi/ecm/en/gbe03297usen/GBE03297USEN.PDF

Leadership Philosophy Word Cloud

The Evolution of the Ugly Story

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

                                                 Author unknown 

I recently had a very unfortunate email exchange with an individual in which a very ugly story evolved in their mind based strictly on assumptions...phantom rules!

Reminder to self (and others), “email (and social media) is NOT the place for a “conversation.” If you feel emotions rising, do not write, ask for face-to-face time. Don’t make assumptions. Don’t nurture your phantom rules. Ask questions. Think about what you have heard not only in words, but tone of voice and body language. And then, ask more questions!

Dr. Albert Mehrabian, Professor Emeritus of Psychology, UCLA created a theory of communications. He found...

• 7% of a message pertains to feelings and attitudes are in the words spoken
• 38% of a message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is in the way the words are spoken
• 55% of a message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is facial expression and body language.

Words alone do not convey nearly the whole story or interpret the meaning in the context of communication. When it comes to the written word especially in email, text and social media, much greater care must be taken since a visual channel does not exist. Thus, effectiveness of communications is greatly reduced.

If you find yourself having a broken, ugly conversation or situation with others, ask yourself, how can I be experienced differently. Check out how this violinist handled an ugly situation at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqXS9m6aiyk

This broken world needs people to be engaged and connected! Will you be a victim or healer? Will you be a finger-pointer or palms open? Will you tell or will you ask...tell me more!?

Suggested reading...

QBQ! The Question Behind the Question: What to Really Ask Yourself to Eliminate Blame, Victim Thinking, Complaining and Procrastination by John G. Miller


Suggested blog...


http://blogs.hbr.org/hmu/2012/01/how-to-work-with-someone-you-h.html

Carrpe Diem! an Overview

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhVyxI3-bps

Singletons vs Communitons!

Recently Eric Klineberg, professor of sociology at NYU and author of Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone, wrote an article in the NY Times about his work.

He writes, “Americans pride themselves on their self-reliance and culture of individualism.” He terms these people “singletons.” He claims living alone promotes freedom, personal control and self-realization.

I wonder if this is another outcome of the Information - Internet Age we live in. More and more, the preferred method of communications seems to electronic rather than face-to-face. Klineberg goes on to write, “Dynamic markets, flourishing cities and open communications systems make modern autonomy more appealing; they give us the capacity to live alone but to engage with others when and how we want to and on our own terms.”

At a deeper level, at the heart of our soul, I wonder if this is more appealing. With growing unemployment, not only is stress is mounting and tension increasing but hope waning and depression rising. Wanting to live and even work on our own terms has negative consequences as well.

After organizations downsize, those left behind are asked to do more with no increase in pay. Morale takes a hit, negative attitudes increase and trust becomes very fragile. Those remaining spend more time looking over their shoulder. Rumor mills crank up. Many business leaders are beginning to recognize the last overt benefit and unique difference an organization might have as a competitive advantage is a nurturing culture with a good morale where people do feel valued.

I suggest each of us find a balance of autonomy with commUNITY. We need to connect with others one-no-one and face-to-face, unplugged from distraction. I rank this up there with eating correctly, getting proper exercise and getting enough sleep. This will require the same sort of self-discipline as caring for our well-being. It gets back to understanding our needs versus our wants. This is work of the soul.

I yearn for us to become “communitons” rather than singletons, still respecting the need for individual space. Rather continuously looking in, this will require looking out and asking, “what’s in it for us?” rather than, “what’s in it for me?” It will also require learning more than from just “sound-bites.” I will require suspending judgement and assumption. It will require us to ask more questions including, “tell me more!” By becoming more curious, we might just reduce our fear and build nurturing communities!

What will your choice be moving forward...singleton or communiton?