Am I The Only One?

As 2017 comes to a close, I catch myself shaking my head. I am battling cynicism, disgust and disappointment in and of the United States. I find my optimism taking a hit. The root cause is linked to this being one of the strangest, most turbulent, most disturbing years I have experienced. Discord, injustice, racial violence, opioid drug abuse and sexual harassment and assault are the rage. We, the United States, are not united, nor are we good for ourselves. The United States cannot be good for the world until it's good for itself. It appears the Chinese dream is more attainable than the American dream!

IMHO, we Americans have forgotten why and how to be good people, neighbors, residents, inhabitants of planet Earth. We have learned to be more fearful of everyone and everything that is not like us or familiar to us. Civil discourse is a lost art. In fact civil discourse is
threatening. Freedom of speech requires responsibility and the ability to listen without feeling threatened, yet as I write this, gun sales may have had the best year ever.

While the stock market has gone into the stratosphere, so has selfishness. The "selfie syndrome" is more than the pictures we take of ourselves. It represents self-absorption and self-absorption kills empathy, kindness and compassion. We seem to only value kindness and compassion when we want something in return. This goes against the suffering-servant way Christ taught, lived and asked His followers to follow. We seem to have lost the will to serve or to suffer!

Running wild egos have also made headlines. POTUS 45 and LaVar Ball are the poster children for egomaniacs of 2017, leaving the Kardashians, Kanye West, and Justin Bieber in the dust. Egomania is catching. It contributes to conflict, finger pointing, rudeness, selfishness and ultimately, distrust. According to Thomas Friedman, NYT OP-ED December 19, 2017, Merry Christmas, Vladimir - Your Friend, Donald, "Trump has averaged 5.5 false or misleading claims every day in office, putting him on pace for 1,999 in his first year." The antidote for ego is humility of which we seem to have a huge shortage. 

One of my favorite quotes is from former Army General Eric Shinseki, "If you don't like change, you are going to like irrelevance even less." Unfortunately, the change we are making in the United States is making us irrelevant. Change is making the homeless, the immigrant, the sick, the poor, the abused, the addicted, the least of these, irrelevant. 

We seem to embrace and celebrate foolishness. Common sense is not in vogue. Education and critical thinking are seen as destructive and evil. Science has become a liberal conspiracy. Reason, logic, truth and evidence are distrusted and get in the way of our perception. It feels like we can't handle real life. Everything and everybody is suspect, fake or is part of a conspiracy. In fact I wonder if truth is dead. I am reminded of that famous exchange between Lt. Daniel Kaffee (Tom Cruise) and Col. Nathan R. Jessep (Jack Nicholson) in the movie, A Few Good Men when Jessup responds to Kaffee wanting the truth, "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

Cruelty. There is the GOP Tax Bill that promotes more inequality and divides the classes in America. The effort to repeal and replace ACA that will cause 14 million Americans to lose health insurance in 2018 and 24 million by 2026 is cruel. Taking away sacred land in Utah from Native Americans for corporate development and mining is cruel. There is the cruelty of the Las Vegas mass shooter. Who can forget Charlottesville, VA? The reaction to NFL players kneeling has been cruel as well as misunderstood. (Note: If you want to understand the NFL players and the message they are trying to send, read Michelle Alexander's, The New Jim Crow.) We see "the other" including refugees and immigrants as human waste. Name calling has become a part of free speech, tweeting and FaceBook postings. 

Rick Steves, the American travel writer recently wrote in his blog, "I once asked my Swiss friend Olle, “How can you Swiss people be so docile about paying such high taxes?” Without missing a beat, he replied, “Well, what’s it worth to live in a country where there’s no hunger, no homelessness, and where everyone — regardless of the wealth of their parents — has access to quality healthcare and education?”  (Maybe you'd like to suggest I move to Switzerland!?)

Then there were the natural disasters of Irma, Harvey, Maria and Nate; wildfires in Idaho, Oregon, Washington state, Montana, and California; tornadoes throughout the year.

I can't watch "entertainment" based on human dysfunctionality like HBO's, The Deuce (the germination of the porn industry in New York City back in the '70s), Amazon's Catastrophe (accidental pregnancy leads to a marriage in which neither knows anything about the other or themselves), or Netflix's, Gypsy (a bored, unethical, voyeuristic therapist's out-of bounds life). There is more than enough real-life dysfunctionality. 

Some major disappointments include people I enjoyed and respected like Charlie Rose, Louis C.K., Kevin Spacey and Al Franken, who all gave terrible apologies for their sexual misdeeds. I took it for granted they had the self-discipline to control desires, lust and demons.

Then there was the death of a friend with whom I had fond memories of sailing and fly fishing. 

I've always told my team members as their leader, if you come to me with a problem, also bring a solution(s). So here are my personal solutions to all the problems I've listed in 2017.

I am going to practice digital detox and loosen the addictive grip of technology in my life. One of the books I read in 2017, Adam Alter's Irresistible: The Rise Of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked, was a call to unplug. I tried. I am going to try again. I am going to spend more time meditating, reading books, going outside, having face-to-face conversations with others.

I'm going to nurture my gratitude. As shameful, hurtful and un-Christ-like the new tax bill is and the gutting of ACA (rather than fixing it!), I am going to remind myself continuously how blessed I am. I am still better off than 90% of the world's population. I also know nurturing gratitude feeds my compassion and humility!

This is the sharing economy, I am going practice sharing more. I give away about 10% of my work. I'm going to do more for others. My mission is to create and build commUNITY. Since many corporations are flush with cash and will be getting more with the new tax plan, how about sharing that cash with your present employees and hire more employees. If your employees are making a living wage, go against the flow and pay more. Contrary to Wall Street's philosophy of putting stockholders first, putting staff and employees first does incredible things! If you want evidence, read NYC restaurateur Danny Meyer's, Setting The Table: The Transforming Power of Hospitality in Business. And if you can't find enough good, qualified employees, put some of that cash toward training and education. Grow your employees. Who knows, you may end up becoming an "employer of choice".

Exercise even more! Last fall I began a daily 20-minute combination of stretching, yoga and core moves first thing in the morning. It has made a big difference in so many ways in this older body. I will continue walking and cycling, as well as hitting the YMCA for swimming and strength work. Among the many benefits, it reduces stress. Besides, ignore your health and it will go away!

Seek out people who are not like me and engage. I'm going to practice seeking to understand rather than to be understood! Quit judging and labeling people who don't see it the way I do, but embrace the differences. Make discussing controversial opinions easier. This will get me out of my comfort zone and into my learning zone. This will feed my life-long learning need!

One of my favorite metaphors for hope, unity and seeking a better tomorrow is the V formation. Whenever I see one,  it helps me hit my pause and reset buttons. I am going to be on the lookout for more V formations, not just in the sky, but here on the ground. A couple of personal V formations I am looking forward to in 2018, my wife's major birthday celebration, our son becoming a fire fighter and our daughter and her partner's marriage.

Apollo 13 was called a "successful failure." I am going to nurture relentless hope that our culture and political situations move to a "successful failure" in 2018. The challenge becomes, how do we get better with each other without facing a disaster?